It’s been hard to put my feet on the ground since finding out that we were having a girl last week. One of the reasons I was so excited to find out the gender of our baby is because I knew it would make me feel like I’m having a baby. Napkin and I didn’t have a preference or anything… but something about knowing that we are having a girl made it easier to imagine this little person growing inside of my body.
I HAVE A LITTLE PERSON GROWING INSIDE OF MY BODY.
But things were pretty magical before finding out about our little Baby Bee’s sex, too. Week 15 marked the REAL end of my morning sickness. I regained a ton of energy seemingly overnight. And with the end of my morning sickness (and also the end of being bed ridden for days on end) …this happened:
I had read that a lot of women wake up with an “all-of-a-sudden-bump” but I couldn’t imagine it REALLY being something that happened that fast. IT HAPPENED THAT FAST. My belly got tight and my pants got tighter. And something else pretty magical happened. I was suddenly really in love with my body.
I have written A TON of blog posts here about my job and idiot comments about my body. I have also written about how its affected me. I’ve alluded to the shame I’ve felt about my midsection. Maybe ‘shame’ is the wrong word– maybe I mean ‘discomfort?’ That doesn’t seem right. I don’t know. You get it. The point is, I have existed for almost my entire adult life in flowy tops and boxy dresses because that’s how I felt prettiest. But now? My swollen belly is something I am SO PROUD OF. It was hard for Napkin and I to get pregnant. But we did it. And she is in there. And she is healthy and she will be beautiful and strong and funny and will have all of her fingers and toes. And she’ll have all of those things because my body has taken care of her. My belly has housed this little miracle! I know that’s super duper cliche but it’s true! I look at myself in the mirror and I don’t see a single thing wrong. And to experience that at 35 years old is an amazing feeling.
AND GIRL YOU BETTER BELIEVE I AM DRESSING UP THAT BUMP. I immediately went out and bought the tightest things I could find. I touch my belly in public. I encourage people to do the same. My head is higher, I smile easier, I sing in the shower, I feel great. Even with my aching back and weird hip pain and dry skin and super grown out roots.
“MY BABY IS IN HERE! MY BABY IS IN HERE! MY LITTLE PERSON IS GROWING INSIDE MY BODY!”
So if you see me burst into super random pregnancy tears, know that 95% of the time it’s because everything is amazing and my heart can’t handle it. The other 5% of the time? I’m having a SERIOUS CRISIS because I can’t get my Icee craving fix.
More soon! ❤