Right now I am seriously missing Napkin. He has this really sweet way of dealing with me when I pop up in the middle of the night from a bad dream. He sort of groans and rolls towards me and, with a sleep induced lack of fine motor skills, he pats around until he finds my face and then he pushes me back down to the pillow. Sometimes I get a whispered, “It’s okkaaaayyyyy…” too.
You would think that I would hate this (it sounds violent and sometimes, without him knowing it, it is) but I just popped up from a pretty awesome sleep only to remember that he is three hours away. My girl Marci over at So Nerdy Together
will get this, I have no doubt, but as my wedding gets closer I find myself waking up with the weirdest anxiety in the middle of the night. (P.S. For goodness sake, go visit So Nerdy Together. Marci and I are like parallel universe BFFs. Her blog is a hoot and she has some really neat ideas, I highly recommend her hand painted cloud runner post.)
I was supposed to play a show tonight but the weather wouldn’t cooperate and it got canceled. I still got paid, though!
So I ended up being able to come back to Napkin’s parents’ house and go to sleep at a regular-human-being-hour. Everything was fine until I shot up out of bed thinking, “Do I need an adhesive bra?!”
I’m fine now but for a moment there I was really panicking. And Napkin isn’t here to help me (#sadface.jpg) so I’m wide awake and google searching random things until the internet bores me and I can fall back asleep. Speaking of adhesive bras… have you ever seen one?
THEY ARE HIDEOUS!
…who in the world came up with this design? Wait! I know what it needs!
Art! Designs! Boob designs! Perfect!
I can’t imagine what Napkin would do if he came home and saw one of these on the floor:
I think he would try to clean the bath tub with it or something.
This has left me pondering something kind of serious, though. Say you’re getting married. At some point in the evening… as the party is winding down and you are getting ready to make your exit… are you supposed to change your undergarments? I know this is a weird thing to ask– but on your wedding night shouldn’t you be a little hesitant to show off something like this?
Unless, of course, your new groom starts to get a little more comfortable and this is what you see:
But no, really? What are you supposed to do? Is there protocol for this sort of thing? I always imagined that on my wedding day I would pull a Beyonce and wear something totally ridiculous:
(Dear moms reading this, this is a joke.)
But I guess that isn’t practical unless you’re wearing a sheet for a wedding dress… Or you’re Beyonce. So what’s the rule?
Ponder this while I try to fall asleep again. (Five bucks says I dream of the men’s girdle above.)
That man girdle made me snarfle when I first saw it, but now my Taj Mahal is clenching up in terror thinking about it.
Also, I almost bought one of those scary chicken cutlet bras yesterday. They are WEIRD-looking!
And, thanks for the shouty-outy.