Truth: I am laying on the floor next to the bed, listening to Napkin talk to himself in his sleep. We are married. This is what married people do.

It’s super late in my part of the world but I was inspired to write about something that has been nearly constant in my life since getting married:

Pasta Alfredo.

(photo source: google)

So we decided that we would take the leftovers home after the wedding and, in order to save some money, we would eat that stuff until we left for Japan (officially ten days from now!)

When I agreed to this, I expected to be sitting down at a candlelit dinner every night, looking at the spread of fruit, cheese, stuffed mushrooms, etc. and lovingly telling my husband, “Remember when we ate THIS at the wedding? Siiiigh, I love you, hubby,” as I fed him a carrot stick.

The reality has been considerably less glamorous.

I’ve already mentioned that I sat in bed a few mornings last week watching reality TV and eating cheese cubes… (a dark time in my life) but what I haven’t told you is that we have eaten heavy cream based pasta dishes EVERY NIGHT. Like, HEAVY.

(photo source: google)

(That kind of heavy.)

This is what our table looks like every night:

(photo source: mine)

See those three massive tubs of pasta alfredo? That’s right. AND THAT’S NOT EVEN ALL OF IT. (And yes, there’s an open package of Lactaid. Don’t judge me.)

I mean, we’re not wasting food. And that’s good. And we’re saving money! That’s good! What’s bad is that I can feel my neck slowly starting to swell and my face is beginning to look a little jowl-y. I have so many white carbs in my body right now that I’m guilty. I’m white-carb-guilty. I deserve to be thrown in Health Jail.

So, after much discussion (this means that I did a lot of whining) my very sweet husband decided to take me out to dinner for our Week-Iversary at a restaurant that DID NOT SERVE PASTA!

(photo source: mine)

We had wine and crackers and olives and sandwiches and I’m the happiest wife in the world.

Anybody wanna come over and eat cheese cubes? We could use the help.