My little wedding blog is having a rite of passage today: my first rant post. No blog is complete without one, I’ve learned, so here we go:

I am at the six month mark for my wedding… I am, so far, on schedule for everything. Napkin and I are revising our guest list one last time, Sissy should deliver my save the date art today (HINT HINT IF YOU ARE READING THIS) and we are getting to the point in wedding planning where everything is in the details. The big things, the important things, are secured. My wedding dress is in my closet for goodness sake.

I am doing my best to work with small businesses instead of corporations. I am trying to make my wedding as North Carolina based as I can. So I just don’t get why I am having so many problems getting people to call me back! Let me give you an example. Cupcakes. As you may have read in my previous post… I am deciding between two cupcake shops right now. One of them has been really diligent about calling me back, squeezing me into their schedule, emailing me… returning my emails… but they are a little on the pricey side. Then there’s the other one. Initially, they were who I was leaning towards because they seemed the friendliest and seemed a little less complicated. They were nice, they had great ideas. We were communicating…

And then it just stopped. No returned phone calls, no returned emails. I even stopped by the shop and the only thing the person behind the counter could tell me was that the manager was just “really bad at getting back to people” and just to “keep trying.”

Well, I did keep trying. I have been trying for a MONTH since then. And I have gotten nothing. I guess the biggest reason that this upsets me is because I also run a business. Hell, I AM a business. And if I don’t write people back, if I don’t stay in contact, I don’t make any money… maybe I’m missing something but doesn’t every business work that way? So what is the deal?! Is it me? I can’t imagine that it is– I’m a relatively low stress bride, I am prepared, I am on schedule and I LOVE CAKE. Did you hear that? I COULD BE YOUR BIGGEST FAN WTF.

Sigh.

Now I would like to tell you a story. I was on 15-501 heading towards a lunch date with Napkin when I got a phone call from a number that I didn’t recognize. BECAUSE I AM RESPONSIBLE I picked it up. It was an incredibly excited woman who I didn’t know telling me that I had won a Bridal Party Pampering Session from Mary Kay. It included a ‘pampering session’ for me and six girls, a toss bridal bouquet and a gift certificate for Mary Kay cosmetics. I was, of course, excited (she was pretty stoked and it was contagious) but asked her how I had been entered in the contest. She explained to me that when my bridesmaids had purchased their dresses at David’s Bridal, my info had been entered. Seemed legit. I said thanks, she said she would be in touch and that was that. I called my mom, I called Sissy, I even called Napkin. I told them, “I AM A WINNER!”

And the rest of my day went on like that. But then I got home and started thinking about how odd it was, that I didn’t know I was even registered for the contest… and… did I even like Mary Kay cosmetics? Hm.

The next day I was running errands when I got a phone call from another number that I didn’t recognize. I picked it up BECAUSE I AM STILL A RESPONSIBLE ADULT. This is what happened:

B: Hello?

Unknown: Hello, Is this Beavis?

B: … sigh… It is?

Unknown: This is Steven from the “Two Million Dollar Sweepstakes” and you are a winner!

B: …The “Two Million Dollar Sweepstakes?” Steven, I want you to delete my contact informa-

Unknown: Pfffftaksdhaiwsueyaiskduhaksdjhaaaahahahahaa… ‘click.’

B: …

He literally made those sounds and then hung up the phone on me. Over the next few days I started getting a lot of random spam calls, even text messages. I started putting two and two together, because my email account was getting super spammed with “Bridal Bootcamp Signup!” emails and “Brides Must Haves!” and every stupid wedding related offer you could possibly imagine. I removed my email address every way I could, I picked up every phone call and said, “Remove my contact information!” I replyed “STOP” to every text message that I got… but they still haven’t completely gone away. It’s so frustrating. I went back to David’s Bridal with Sissy and Jammer when their dresses were ready for pick-up and talked to the girl behind the counter about it.

“I never give my information out to anyone… I thought you were going to use my phone number and email address to give me news about the dresses I ordered? Why is this happening?” She just looked at me:

And that was that.

After that, I researched that “Bridal Party Pampering Session” that I had “won” from Mary Kay. It’s another scam and it is ALL over the internet. Basically, someone from Mary Kay comes to your house and suggestively sells you make up. There is very little pampering involved, but a lot of q-tip sized beauty product samples and girls you don’t know touching your face. Not my bag.

So here’s what I’ll tell you. For relatively good choices, relatively inexpensive dresses and for convenience if your bridesmaids are all over the country like mine, Davids Bridal is a good choice. But be careful! If you don’t have to give them information don’t… because they will sell that mess to everyone. And Steven from the “Two Million Dollar” sweepstakes will call you too.

I’ll make my own toss bridal bouquet, thank you kindly.